(The following journal entry is for all Xbox One and PC players. Mainly for Xbox One.)
BO3 Fanboy: *running around, screaming in panic*
Whats his problem?
Me: <_< Oh, he's upset about this year's DLC season for Black Ops 3. *breaks the 4th wall* In 2015, it was confirmed. Xbox Live would no longer get the DLC first for Call Of Duty. And so far, Xbox gamers are freaking out.
BO3 Fanboy: FUCK YOU PLAYSTATION! WHY COULDN'T YOU HAVE WAITED ONE MORE GAME!?
Samantha Maxis: >.> Say, how come you aren't freaking out, Chris?
Me: Because I've got a survival guide that I'm gonna share to the world. ^_^
Samantha Maxis: Really? Because...well..... <_< >_> I NEED SOME ADVICE TOO!
Me: o_o' Please follow my 5 step program to not going insane...
"5 Pieces Of Advice To Survive Black Ops 3's DLC Season"
Me: Tip #1: Leave YouTube.
Samantha Maxis: Whoa whoa whoa! No!
Me: If you're one of those people who hate spoilers, your best bet is to completely stay away from YouTube forever.
Samantha Maxis: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Me: XD Samantha, I'm just kidding. Atleast a month, so the DLC arrives for you, and you can play it, spoiler free.
Samantha Maxis: But I already know that Hellhounds will be in the new Zombie map...
Me: O_O WHY ARE YOU SPOILING!?
Samantha Maxis: >o> I thought everyone knew about that and the minigun returning!
Me: YOU'RE STILL SPOILING!!!
Samantha Maxis: I'M SORRY, OK!? BUT DID YOU ATLEAST SEE THE DRAGON!?
Me: Tip #2: Disable YouTube Notifications!
Me: If you need to still go on YouTube, atleast disable notifications from other COD youtubers and try to avoid seeing spoilers.
Samantha Maxis: I could live with that...
Me: Yes. We all could. This tip and the first tip is for people who wants the whole thing to be a surprise.
Samantha Maxis: Wait a minute...did you watch the ending to Origins yet?
Me: Nope. :3
Samantha Maxis: *facepalms* *sighs*
Samantha Maxis: Tip #3: Kill all Richtofen fans!
Me: OOO NO! WE ARE NOT DOING THAT!
Samantha Maxis: But he has followers!
Me: WHAT YOU'RE PLANNING WILL RESULT IN CALLING THE POLICE! AND YOU WILL GO TO JAIL!
Me: Tip #3: Let Your Anger Out. (to yourself)
Samantha Maxis: Wait, how will this help?
Me: Some people just can't hold their anger in, because of PS4 getting the DLC first for Black Ops 3. So just get a stress ball and for a month, release all your anger into a little ball. It works!
Samantha Maxis: *doing the advice* And I need to manage this for a month?
Samantha Maxis: o.o *throws it out* I'm not that psychotic! >n<
Me: No, it's not for crazy people, it's just a tip-
Samantha Maxis: ;n;
Me: :/ Lets get you some ice cream later.
Me: Tip #4: Playing Other Video Games.
Me: When it comes to waiting for DLC for a particular game, you should probably move over to playing other video games for a while. There are loads of games to play.
Samantha Maxis: Like.....Mario Kart 8!
Me: And Super Mario Maker!
Samantha Maxis: And Fallout 4!
Me: And other COD games!
Samantha Maxis: And Mortal Kombat X!
Me: And Skullgirls!
Samantha Maxis: And- o_o Wait, whats a Skullgirl?
Me: *facepalm* One day, everyone will know...
And now, the final tip is.....
Me: ^_^ Thats right. Tip #5: Resume Your Life.
Me: Now lets be honest. We all got better things to do whie waiting for a map pack to arrive. Parents have to take care of their beloved ones, kids have to get good grades, and some people need to resume their work. So why are you waiting, when you can do so many things to pass the time, so when the DLC arrives, and your replacer is ready to substitute for you, you'll have a fresh feeling of accomplishment! Ladies and gentleman! Starting tomorrow, the Call Of Duty Black Ops 3 DLC Season is gonna kick off with a proud Awakening! And we hope for this year, to be another spectacular time for all of us Call Of Duty players! Get your controllers ready, get your batteries ready, and make sure you get your supply of junk food ready! Because the Awakening, is finally gonna happen!
Samantha Maxis: Wait a minute! I wanna give out a tip too!
Me: <_< But we already gave out 5 tips...
Samantha Maxis: Please Chris!
Me: Ah, why not? This is a happy time. Sure, go ahead.
Samantha Maxis: Ok, tip #6: Rank Up To A Prepared Level!
Samantha Maxis: If you're gonna spend loads of time on the new maps, you may as well be at a good level so you've got access to the good weapons and gobblegum that you normally rely on!
Me: Wow, Sam, thats some good advice for everyone actually.
Samantha Maxis: o.o Really?
Samantha Maxis: YAY!!! *tackle hugs*
Me: o_o' -u-
Samantha Maxis: Sooo, can we get ice cream now?
Me: Once you get off of me.
Samantha Maxis: Oops. Sorry... *gets up*